Betty ford says i'm here all night
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
