i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
