He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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