Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
