is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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