I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
