i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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