just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
