wat bout pragnant strippers??
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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