Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
