I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
