And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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