Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
