Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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