and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
