i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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