So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
