You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
