She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
