11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
