i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
