I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
