i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
