Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
