There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
