love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
