5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
