you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
