I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
