Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My pussy is not your playground.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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