Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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