Is it normal to miss your booty call?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
