Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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