Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You've changed since you got that strap on
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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