Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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