You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
