Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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