Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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