Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
