i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
