there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
