I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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