We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
