it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
