Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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