Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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