that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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