But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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