Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
