i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
