Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
